The Details of Judah's Condition and Care

Since Charity Air Ambulance posted Judah's story, we've gotten a lot of messages, especially from other parents of Potter's Sequence children, asking how Judah is being cared for. I thought I would post something then that explains it in detail so we can hopefully answer all the questions.

Firstly, Judah's condition is called Potter's Sequence, previously called Potter's Syndrome, with the specific type being bilateral renal agenesis (BRA), or the absence of kidneys. The building blocks for kidneys are developed in the first 28 days of gestation and begin working during the 14th week and take over the production of amniotic fluid from the placenta. This is where Potter's turns deadly. Without the amniotic fluid, the babies suffer deformities and their lungs fail to develop, making it impossible for them properly breathe and oxygenate their bodies once the umbilical cord is cut. They die of respiratory failure before they die of kidney failure. Potter's Sequence can come in various different forms, including having kidneys but the kidneys aren't functional for one reason or another. Potter's occurs in 1 in 4000 births and is usually 100% lethal. Up until 3 years ago, there were no survivors. Then one set of courageous parents decided to try and do something about it and set in motion the treatment that led to our Judah surviving so far.

The first step in Judah's care was the placement of an amnioport in my abdomen to deliver normal saline into the amniotic sac three times a week to help him grow and develop his lungs. We had to travel to Cincinnati for this because, to my knowledge, only three hospitals in the U.S. will do amnioinfusions willingly without being pushed. Because they puncture the sac, I leaked fluid throughout my entire pregnancy following the surgery, had contractions if I got out of bed for more than using the bathroom or going to appointments, and went into premature labor twice. His prenatal care, in relation to his postnatal care, was relatively simple. He was born at 33 weeks and 3 days gestation after my water broke and we could no longer do infusions or stop labor.

Judah being intubated right after birth

When Judah was born he didn't cry but he did try to breathe. They intubated him when he was five minutes old and managed to get him stable enough to take him from the operating room (he was a C-section) to the NICU. Following his birth he was given a chest tube for a pneumothorax and then transferred to Cincinnati Children's Hospital (he was born at a different hospital since CCH currently doesn't have a labor and delivery floor). His blood pressure was extremely low when he was born and the doctors said they "threw everything and the kitchen sink through his UVC line" to get his blood pressure up. Once they considered him a pulmonary survivor (at three days old), they did surgery at his bedside (because he was too unstable to move to the OR) to place a hemodialysis (HD) catheter in his neck and a peritoneal dialysis (PD) catheter in his abdomen. They tried a gentler form of hemodialysis called aquapheresis first but his blood pressure immediately crashed and they had to take him off of it. They waited another day or so and then started him on PD. This gave him enough time to come down off his blood pressure medications (he had been maxed out) enough that when his PD catheter ultimately became ineffective because of leaking, they were able to do aquapheresis again and give him good enough nutrition to heal his PD surgery site.

Judah's problem list at birth included bilateral renal agenesis, small lungs, low blood pressure, pulmonary hypertension (high blood pressure only in the lungs), two hernias (common in preemies), and a pneumothorax. He was on dialysis, nitric oxide therapy (pulmonary hypertension), flolan (pulmonary hypertension), epinephrine and vasopressin (low blood pressure), a ventilator, a chest tube, and TPN (total parenteral nutrition - basically IV nutrition) and lipids for his food. He was extubated at 2 1/2 months and off all the IV meds except the nutrition over that period of time as well.

Judah on his due date

He remained on PD for around 3 1/2 months until his PD catheter became clogged and they had to do surgery to fix it and then surgery again 2 days later when it stopped working again and they had to replace it with a bigger one. Following those two surgeries they put him on hemodialysis for 3 days (surgery recommended 2 weeks) and he didn't tolerate it well so we had to go back to PD. Just before Christmas he was transferred to Texas Children's Hospital which was back home for us. Following his transfer home, he developed a hernia at one of the surgery sites and began leaking PD fluid. He was then put back on hemodialysis for 2 weeks until he developed peritonitis (assumed - we never found anything on the cultures) at which point his blood pressure got so low that he had to be put back on medication for it - this time dopamine and epinephrine. He also had to be re-intubated because he was breathing too fast and hard and they were worried he would wear himself out. They put him on another form of dialysis called continual renal replacement therapy (CRRT) which is a gentler form of hemodialysis that runs 24/7. He is staying on that currently until they can get him back off the blood pressure medications and get him more stable. The issue with CRRT is it can be very dangerous to start them on the machine (example - Judah coded by dropping his heart rate the 3rd time they tried to start him on it) but once they are on it is very safe and gentle.

Judah's first Iron Bowl (We shout War Eagle)

Judah's current problem list is bilateral renal agenesis, small lungs, low and high blood pressure, peritonitis, respiratory failure, and resistance to sedation. He is on CRRT, dopamine and hydrocortisol (low blood pressure), fentanyl and versed (sedation and pain management), antibiotics, antivirals, and antifungals (covering their infection bases), TPN and lipids, a ventilator, saline mixed with heparin to keep one of his PICC lines open, and a warmer (CRRT drops the body temperature). Before getting sick, he was only on TPN, lipids, fortified breast milk (for more calories), hemodialysis, and 7L high flow nasal cannula.

His ultimate goal is to get him onto a dialysis cycler that he can go home on. He will then have to be pretty isolated (renal babies are extremely susceptible to infection) until he reaches 20lbs (around 2 years of age - it's hard for renal babies to gain weight because of fluid restriction) at which point he can receive a kidney transplant. He will then be on immunosuppressants for the rest of his life to help keep him from rejecting the kidney and will need another transplant in 15-20 years under current technology.

How It Works: Peritoneal Dialysis

There has also been some confusion as to how it is exactly that peritoneal dialysis works. Without getting too technical it's basically the following:
A catheter is surgically inserted into the peritoneal cavity, a spot between your abdominal wall and your organs that contains many, many blood vessels. Once the site has been allowed to heal (which isn't usually the case with babies) for 1-2 weeks per the surgeon's recommendation, it can be used for dialysis. With this type of dialysis no blood has to leave the body so there is less risk for infection (of the blood at least) and it is less draining and stressful to the body. PD runs in cycles - fill, dwell, and drain. I am not aware how long it takes to dwell in adults, but with Judah it would be 30-45 minutes to dwell with 10 minutes to drain and typically 2-5 minutes to fill. The fluid used for PD is a special type of sugar and salt water specially prescribed by the nephrologists based on the electrolyte and fluid balance needs of the patient. The peritoneal cavity is then filled with dialysate using an amount prescribed. Judah started at 20mL because of how tiny he was and we had worked our way up to 50mL before his most recent leaking. The goal for him is 150mL before he can go on a cycler, move from the NICU to the renal floor and from there work on going home. Once the cavity is filled, it dwells for 30-45 minutes, depending on how many cycles you want to get in per day. Since the fluid put in has no toxins in it and the blood does, the toxins and extra electrolytes and fluid are pulled into the peritoneal cavity through diffusion (toxins) and ultrafiltration (water). When the cycle is up, the stopcock on the tubing is turned to drain and the fluid drains out over 10 minutes. You want to get out the same amount or more than you put in and output is carefully measured. The cycle is then repeated. This is done manually by a nurse 24/7 until a high enough volume is reached for the cycler to work at which point dialysis can be done over 12 hours and the patient can live a relatively normal life during the other 12 hours.

Hopefully this helps explain things for anyone who is curious and helps anyone who may be looking for help for their recent diagnosis of Potter's in their baby. This post will become updated with his treatment as time goes on.


Judah passed away at 11:04am on February 25, 2017 after taking a sudden turn for the worst. We're still unsure what caused him to get so sick so quickly but we know he is healed and happy in Jesus' arms and we are looking forward to the day that we see him again.

Behind Our Baby's Name

I've had a lot of people ask me why it is we chose our son, Judah's, name, and also why we gave him such a long name. Before we knew he was going to have problems, we had such a hard time picking a name for him. I was really hoping for a girl for two reasons - 1) I grew up with only little sisters and didn't have a lot of experience with boys and 2) I had the perfect name picked out for a little girl that I was absolutely in love with. When we found out we were having a boy it started a long running disagreement between me and my husband about what name to give our baby. We went through literally hundreds of them. I wanted something softer like Liam or Oliver and he wanted something strong and manly (insert tons of unpronounceable Scottish names here). While we were visiting my husband's family in Georgia when I was around 18 weeks pregnant, his sisters were reading off names out of a baby book that his mom had used before he was born and two names finally gave me pause - Asher and Judah. Asher was more of a middle name to my husband so Judah became our frontrunner. However, a couple of weeks later, we were given the bad news that something was wrong with our son and naming him went on the back burner and we just kept calling him by his nickname that we had been using for him from the beginning - Baby Bean.

Fast forward 13 weeks and we were told on an August morning that they could no longer stop my labor and we were having a baby that day. We had four names that we loved but hadn't narrowed down to two so when I asked my husband what were going to name our baby he said without hesitation, "Judah Nathaniel Oliver Beorn." And it just felt right. The nurse came in a few minutes later and said she was trying to make name bands for the baby and asked his name. Again, without hesitation, we answered, "Judah." And each of his names has a special meaning behind it.

Judah
In Genesis 29, Jacob marries two wives - Leah, after being tricked into it by her father, and Rachel whom he actually loved. We are told that God sees that Leah is unloved and takes pity on her by giving her sons while her sister remained childless. With her first three sons, Leah gives them names that reflect how God has given her children and not her sister. But when she gives birth to her fourth son she says, "This time I will praise the Lord." And she names him Judah, which means "praise." Even though I just liked the sound of the name Judah, this verse was what solidified it for me. Judah is actually our second child, with us having lost the first to a miscarriage at 8 weeks around three years ago. After my miscarriage I was very angry with God for taking my child away from me and for my life seemingly falling about afterwards. It took me a long time to lose that anger and even longer to get back to a point where I could trust God. So when I found out I was pregnant again I decided I was going to praise God for a second gift no matter what the outcome and while that has been so hard throughout this journey we've gone on so far, I just have to think about what Judah means and I am reminded of how good God has been to us so far.

Nathaniel
This is a name that is Greek but comes from a Hebrew word meaning "God has given." After I had my miscarriage I almost immediately wanted to try and have another child to try and heal my heart as well as "replace" what was lost (which is not the right thing to do when dealing with grief). However months and then years passed without us being able to have a child. We went to see a fertility specialist after two years of no luck. They weren't able to find anything that was obviously wrong so they wrote up a plan for us to start Clomid, a drug to help. We decided to wait a few months before starting, mostly because I was in nursing school and we wanted to make sure I would graduate before having a baby so we wouldn't have any conflicts but also because it wouldn't be covered by insurance and would cost $500 for every round we had to do so we wanted some time to save up for that specifically. However, two months before we were going to start, I found out I was pregnant all on our own and completely by accident. After 898 days, God had finally answered our prayers for a child so the name seemed appropriate to celebrate our journey to him and all the emotional ups and downs we had gone through to get there.

Oliver

This is a French baby name meaning "the olive tree." Of course because it's French my husband thought it was too girly and soft of a name. He also didn't want his son to have the same name as, according to him, "the grumpy Green Arrow." However, despite the fact that Oliver Queen is often brooding and going back and forth on his morals and direction in life, he is resilient and no matter how bad things get he continues to fight and keep moving forward no matter the situation which is something our baby desperately needs, especially during his harrowing first few weeks of life. In the Bible the olive tree also signifies fruitfulness and beauty, which to me is significant because of our infertility issues but also because a lot of times I need to be reminded of the beauty in the everyday things that come with having a baby in the NICU for an extended period of time.

Beorn
I remember a particular date five and half years ago when my husband and I were dating. We were in a long-distance relationship and I had traveled to Auburn, AL to attend my husband's graduation from college. We had gotten milkshakes from Chick-fil-A and were going for a walk in a nearby park and just talking about the future which of course, for both us, included children. My husband, half joking and half serious, mentioned how he wanted to name his children after Lord of the Rings characters. This mortified me, however, because of how, despite my mom's best efforts to give us names that no one could make fun of, I was still bullied in middle school for other things about my personality and lifestyle. This left a lasting mark for me and made me not want to make my children easy targets for other kids, which I felt one of those names could do. After a discussion about it, we came to our first compromise (that I can at least remember) of our relationship - I would have the final say on first names and he would have the final say on middle names. Because of this we decided we wanted our first boy's middle name to be Beorn, a character in J.R.R. Tolkien's The Hobbit who could turn into a bear. Beorn is also an Old English word for "a warrior, a hero, a man of valour" which, unknown to us, would be something our son would need to be to make it through life. And, from this middle name, also came my nickname for him, Judah Bear.

Overall we felt he needed some strong names to get him through what promised to be, if he survived birth, a harder life than any person should have to have. We also wanted it to reflect, however, God's love and promises and overall, his miracles, as our sweet boy is definitely one (only the fourth baby with his condition to survive and the first boy). Even though his name is long and kind of a mouthful, we believe it is the name he was meant to have and also has helped remind us that God requires our praise no matter the situation as well as his grace and
provision in this situation.

It takes a literal village to raise a NICU child and Judah has been no different with all his nurses and doctors and all the people who have prayed for him and sent him gifts and well wishes. We would not be where we are today without our village and ask that you continue to support him as we face our day-to-day challenges of not only keeping him alive but helping him to thrive.

365 Days of Wisdom

Photo by Betsy Weldy

My husband and I got married a little over a year ago. At the time we were all aglow with happiness and great expectations. We had no idea what challenges we would face, starting that very afternoon as we left for our reception. We were simply blissfully happy. Unfortunately, it didn't last too long.

Brendan hadn't been feeling well all day. His throat was sore and he was running a bit of a fever. But, like the awesome trooper that he is, he pushed through it and the wedding went on. I stressed all morning over flowers and arrangements and hair appointments and this and that as every bride probably does but finally calmed down when I arrived at our venue and got into my dress. Although not everything had gone according to plan, it was all working out thanks to the great and much needed support of the bridal party and our families. We got through the ceremony mostly without a hitch and made it to the reception. After working with our wonderful photographer to get some more group shots, we headed back inside for our first appearance as husband and wife. And that's when I started to not feel good. My throat was scratchy and I felt a bit lightheaded. My maid of honor (who doubles as one of the best older sisters ever) filled me up with water and food (both of which I hadn't had a lot of that day) and I thought nothing more of it. Then, that night, when we got to our hotel at the airport, both me and Brendan were so exhausted and so sick that we simply passed out into one of the worst night's sleep I've ever gotten. In retrospect, we probably had a really bad flu or (at least in my case) a nasty respiratory infection and should have stayed home. But, determined that all our plans would work out, we trudged forward, making a long 8 hour journey to Prince Edward Island where we spent the week laying on the couch in our cottage and watching Star Trek reruns.

I tell this story for a simple point-married life is going to turn out the exact opposite of what you think. You make plans and you have dreams and expectations and it all falls through. I'm not saying that it's a horrible, terrible thing; it's exactly the opposite. It's the best thing I have ever done in my life and I'm so, so, so happy that I get to do this for the rest of my days with the best man in the whole entire universe. But it's best to be prepared for what can go wrong and to learn to roll with the punches.

So I wanted to share with you all I learned in this first crazy, wonderful year of marriage. Whether you're single, dating, engaged, just married or have been married for five years or more, I feel this advice from a no-longer newlywed can help every single one of you.

1.Understand that you're both different. So you're now married. You're back from your honeymoon and for the first time you're living under the same roof. He's perfectly fine with a couch, a TV and a bed while she wants pictures on the wall, a dining room table, rugs, end tables, nightstands and things he totally doesn't understand. He just thinks about how much this is going to cost him. And then you argue. What a lot of couples fail to understand, I think, is that men and women are made to be completely different. She's more emotion-based. She wants pretty things and to make a house a home. He's more logic based. If he has a couch to sit on and a bed to sleep in then he's good to go. He doesn't need anything else. He doesn't understand his wife's want to bring in all this additional stuff. And it all gets lost in communication. Understanding and accepting the base of what a man is and what a woman is will go great lengths in helping you improve your marriage. For example:

A woman wants/needs:

• to feel secure/protected
• affection (both physically and emotionally, though primarily she needs the emotional connection)
• conversation (ties in with the previous; sometimes she just wants to talk)
• commitment
• financial support

On the flipside, a man wants/needs

• Respect
• Admiration
• A playmate (someone who will step and do things with him, side-by-side)
• Support
• Physical affection (think Elvis's "A Little Less Conversation")

I could go on and on with this subject (you probably don't want a post that long though) but I think you get my point. We are inherently different and we need to take time to learn those differences and act on them.

Photo by Lilac & Lemon Photography

2. Learn how to communicate. I can't stress how important this one is. And I think it's probably something we'll be working on for the rest of our lives. When Brendan and I were dating, we were doing so over a very long distance that only got longer. We started dating when he was in Alabama finishing up his bachelor's degree at Auburn University (War Eagle!). I was in my senior year of high school (don't worry, I was 18). Our communication, therefore, was all done electronically. Over the phone, over Facebook, texting, Skype, ect. for nearly two years. Over that period of time we visited each other five or six times and even then we only saw each other for around a week (sometimes more, sometimes less) at a time. And when we did visit each other we were almost always surrounded by family (not necessarily a bad thing) so we didn't really have much opportunity for long, just the two of us conversations. So when we got married, on a communication level, we were in some trouble. We didn't really know how to talk to each other face-to-face. So we would get into arguments over small miscommunications. And these arguments could last for hours. Through getting to know one another better and the help of our wonderful leaders in our Sunday school class, Newlywed or Close, we slowly made it through the awkwardness of not really being able to talk to each other without the help of technology to being able to better understand and better communicate. The best I advice I can give you on learning how to communicate is learn how to better understand each other. And from that comes better communication. The other bit of advice is find a couple that's been married for a good number of years and go to them for advice and counseling.

3. Date and have fun. During the first month or so of marriage, you're wrapped up in the joy of being newly married. You make plans and go on date after date. Even cuddling on the couch with a good movie and some popcorn can be a date. But then life catches back up with you. You go back to work and/or school, you end of with piles of undone laundry, dishes, and who knows what else because you just get so busy. Dating falls by the wayside. Sure, you'll try and go see that awesome new movie when it comes out but it'll probably just turn into a quick run to the theater and run back so you can get to bed on time to get up for work. Life so overwhelms you that you forget to make time for each other and you essentially turn into roommates. Sure, you're roommates with benefits but you're also roommates that sooner or later, are going to get into a fight over something because you're not taking the time to invest in your relationship. It doesn't take much really. Just go out and do something simple. Go for a walk. Go out to dinner and a movie. Go kayaking. Go to the beach. Go out for ice cream. Just do something fun where you can talk and reconnect after being so very, very busy with you separate lives. It can even be as simple as sitting down at your dining room table and having dinner together. It doesn't take much. Just go and make some memories.

4. Learn how to resolve your conflicts calmly. Conflict is inevitable in any relationship. You are two completely different people. And if you always got along, you wouldn't need each other. Conflict in your relationship can do one of two things-it can push you apart or pull you closer to together. It all depends on how you handle it. On one hand you can yell and call each other names and attack each other until you're blue in the face or you can check yourself and decide to resolve your conflict. And to do that there are several rules you need to follow.

• Don't use words like "never" or "always". They say there is no hope that anything is going to change and make the argument almost pointless for the person on the other side.
• Don't name call. This only makes your spouse angrier and more hurt.
• Don't interrupt when your spouse is speaking.  Listen carefully to the problem and repeat it back to make sure you understand how they feel. Then it can be your turn to say how you feel.
• Own up to how you feel. Don't just attack your spouse by saying "you this" and "you that". Use "I" and own up as to why you are angry.
• Don't attack your spouse. Instead, attack the problem at hand. Attacking your spouse only hurts them more. Instead, work on the problem together, as a team.
• Ask each other for forgiveness. You can say "I'm sorry" and your spouse can accept it, but it doesn't really close out the argument. Instead, ask for forgiveness. It's a more proactive form of closure.
• "Don't let the sun go down on your anger." (Eph. 4:26) My mom used to quote this one to us as kids. And it's very true. Going to bed angry only helps to build up the resentment toward your spouse and makes it worse. Even if you have to stay up late, work out at least your anger before going to sleep. If you need to, resolve the conflict in the morning but get rid of the anger beforehand.

5. Take some time for yourself. I know this one may sound completely hypocritical given the speech I just gave you on taking time for each other, but sometimes you just need to be apart. Whether it's going to play football with your buddies or going on a spa date with your girlfriends, take some time to recharge yourself every once in a while. So take a fitness class, find some running buddies, go shopping, get your nails done, play some video games, go the hair salon, play some golf, or even just sit alone and read a book. Time by yourself or time with your friends can do wonders for the soul and can help you refresh and come back ready to continue working on your relationship with your honey.

6. Volunteer together. We haven't yet been able to find a ministry in which we would like to plant ourselves and volunteer in on a week-by-week basis. But we have been able to volunteer and help other people out before and since we got married. Volunteering is a great way to work on your teamwork and communication. Whether it's helping a friend move or handing out food boxes or helping with Sunday school, volunteering can help your relationship grow and flourish. It's also a great way to give back to the community and to minister to others about Christ.

Marriage is awesome. And my husband is the best, strongest and most wonderful man and I am so thankful God chose to bless me with him. But marriage is also hard. And like anything in life, unless you work at it, it will stagnate and fall apart. So I hope my hard earned wisdom will help you along and make your own journey a little bit easier. Because, genuinely, all we all want to do is to is have a beautiful marriage "until death do us part."

Round Top Texas

When you grow up in the country, you get very accustomed to it. So when you move to the fourth biggest city in the United States, you find out how much you had and how much you missed. This weekend, though, we got to head out to Round Top, Texas, a small little town nestled somewhere between Houston and San Antonio. Round Top has a population of 90 and an old world charm you could enjoy for years to come. It was so nice to get away from the constant sounds of traffic and neighbors and just sit and soak up the sunshine.

We were, however, in Round Top for a reason. We were attending the annual retreat for newlywed and engaged couples held by our church. Y'all, if you've never been to something like this and you're engaged or married, I highly recommend it. We learned so much and came to understand one another so much more. There's always talk about how men and women are so different but you never really hear anyone expound on those differences too much or explain how to understand and practically apply your knowledge of those differences. Bob and Ann Livesay, our speakers for the weekend, did just that and more, sharing with us a wealth of knowledge that they have accumulated from 44 years of marriage.



Royer's Café

The weekend started with me driving into downtown, picking up Brendan, and then the two of us heading over to pick up the couple we were carpooling with, Justin and Madeleine. Then we began our two hour trip out to Round Top. The trip went mostly without a hitch, until we reached the town of Round Top. Not knowing that we had come in the opposite way that our directions were written for, we drove through the town and unknowingly started heading in the opposite direction of the retreat center. After driving that way without luck for around 5 or so minutes, we decided to turn around and head back into town for some dinner before trying again. We stopped at Royer's Café, famous in Texas for it's pie. We never actually tried any of their pie since the price on the menu completely deterred us (4.75 per slice, 27 for a whole pie). So we had our dinner (I recommend the shrimp BLT, but not the Mexican pasta) and headed back out, this time in the right direction, thanks to the GPS on Madeleine's phone. We arrived just before the first session was about to start but we really had nothing to worry about. It didn't actually start until maybe thirty minutes to an hour later. We got our room assignments and unpacked the car before heading up to the Big House to wait for the start of the first session.

That night we met Bob and Ann and discussed the differences between men and women as outlined in the first few chapters of Genesis. It's not ever something you really think about when you normally read those chapters, but there is so much wisdom in there if you dig deep. After the first session they served brownies and ice cream, we stayed up and talked with some other couples for a little while and then headed off to bed. I don't know about y'all, but any semblance of travel always makes me super tired. And when you're fighting allergies, it just makes it even worse.

The following morning we had breakfast followed by another session with Bob and Ann. That session was followed by a half hour break during which Brendan and I sat on the porch and just enjoyed the sunshine and beautiful weather. I was thoroughly happy to be back in a place where I couldn't hear anything but chirping birds and slamming screen doors. Before long we headed back in for another session with Bob and Ann that was followed up by lunch outside. And lunch was followed up by another break, this one lasting all afternoon. And so what naturally happens when you have a bunch of guy and an empty, grassy space? Either a game of football or Frisbee. I didn't mind though. Brendan hasn't been able to play with a group of guys since we got married 10 months ago and I was able to get some great shots like these ones.



After the game we went into town to do some shopping and site seeing. We walked around for a good bit but never actually bought anything even though the antique shops were a treasure trove of adorable finds. We ended up spending the rest of our break in town before we headed back for our next session. During this session the guys and gals were split up for separate sessions on communication. This was another thing I really liked because we were in a long distance relationship for the two years we dated, we never really honed our communication skills. After those sessions were over, we gathered for a group picture and then headed down to the barn for a barbeque and games. So as to not spoil the retreat for others who will go in years to come, I can't actually disclose what happened during those games.

After the games we were over we had root beer floats while sitting on the front porch listening to the crickets. Others came out to join us and we decided to head back to our house to all play a game together. Justin and Madeleine had brought along a game called "Bang". It's confusing at first, but once you get the gist of it and get it going, it's a lot of fun. We stayed up later than we should have playing that game and then all headed up to bed.

The following morning we got up, repacked our suitcases, made our bed, and headed up to the Big House for breakfast and our final session. This was another one that helped a lot, as it went over resolving conflict without all the yelling and hurting of each other's feelings. After we finished that session, we packed up the car and headed back home. Justin, Madeleine, and Brendan all slept for most of the way while I drove. The road back had tons of bluebells and Indian paint brushes growing by the roadside. And there would be lines of cars parked on the side of the road with people out in the fields picking the flowers and enjoying the brief spots of sunshine in between the rain.

If I could sum this retreat up in a few words, I would say this: it was much needed, thoroughly enjoyed, and what feels like a brand new start for our marriage. Never underestimate the value of taking time off to devote to your marriage. It's one thing I guarantee y'all will never regret.

5k's and Flowers

We've been busy the past few weeks. Life here is finally starting to settle down and even out (5 months into our marriage). With our finances now evening out we finally managed to get a kitchen table and a couch and are now taking on a project a weekend.



Run for Hope Houston

The last weekend of October we did two 5k's in two days (not a good idea if you haven't run in several months and just started back up again). The first was through our church, Houston's First Baptist, to benefit an organization called Legacy 685 that gives interest free loans and grants to families going through the adoption process. This race was timed and slightly competitive. For someone who just picked up running again a week before, we didn't do too bad. I placed 255th with an overall time of 45:37 and a 14:50/k pace. Brendan placed right behind me by about a half second and a time of 14:52/k. At the end of the race we were treated to free Chick-fil-A and ice cream while we chatted with some friends from church before running of to pick up our packets for our next race, The Color Run.

We had The Color Run the following day in a rain storm. By the time we actually started the race, the rain had reduced to a drizzle and half way through it stopped. Still, I can't say I enjoyed this Color Run as much as I enjoyed my one in Baltimore. The group of people was less enthusiastic overall, which kind of just killed the mood. We walked the whole way since we were tired from the day before, and, true my word, I got Brendan covered in pink. Because of this he literally stopped in the orange zone to try and cover the pink. But not before I got a picture. I mostly enjoyed it because it gave us time to talk as a couple about things we normally don't talk about because we don't have the time. But with 3.1 miles to walk and all the time in the world to do it, it was much easier and the conversation just flowed. That was until we hit the yellow zone and I took an eye full of yellow powder. I think I was crying that stuff out for about five minutes and then my eyes still hurt. Moral of the story-wear sunglasses or close your eyes. All-in-all it was a fun weekend and was kind of a kick starter for finally getting our life as a couple underway.



This past weekend we took on our weekly task of straightening up the apartment (since both of us work pretty much all day during the week). Our project for the weekend was our sadly neglected balcony and our miniature schnauzer who was in desperate need of being groomed. We dropped him off at his appointment at Petsmart on Wallisville (you should ask for Ana as your groomer; she did a wonderful job with Jesse) and then went over to the Lowe's next door to look for flowers. Now, I have to say, being from the East Coast, Texas weather is throwing me off. It's now November and I've maybe only been cold enough to put on a sweater twice and that was in the early morning. Once the sun comes all the way up, it's warm enough again to make you regret wearing a sweater and boots. That being said, it was really weird for me to plant flowers on the second day of November. And they aren't dying yet. Which is weird. Really, really weird (unless you're a Texan and used to these things.) We picked up a couple of orchids for the house and then some pansies, petunias, marigolds, dusty miller, and whatever that plant in the middle is (I just liked how it looked, so I got it.) We also got a hanging pot of gerbera daisies and a green lawn chair to enjoy those cooler days when you just want to sit outside and take in the weather.

Our little Jesse, all cleaned up

Halfway through transplanting them all into a rather large pot, I got a call that the dog was ready for pick up. So I finished up and went and got him. And when they brought him out, I thought he was the wrong dog! He had been so fluffy for so long that to see him all shaved and snazzed up was a weird thing for me. I think I prefer him fluffy though so next time I think we're just going to get him trimmed and the matted parts combed out. Until then he looks like a proper schnauzer and not a poodle like everyone usually thinks. Oh and his sharp little talons have finally been grinded down enough so that every time he jumps on someone, he won't be leaving a rather long, painful scratch mark.

My final feat for the weekend was making lasagna for the first time. In all the years I've been cooking (maybe 5 or 6) I have always dreaded making it. I've watched my mom and even my stepdad do it and let me tell you they must have all the patience in the world to work on it for that long. I cheated a little bit and bought the ready to cook, no need to boil noodles just because I was so afraid I would mess it up. I used a recipe my sister sent to me via email and I'm pretty sure when she was typing it up she left out some ingredients. Imagine the anxiety that caused me. But, being the savvy cook that I am I was able to salvage it through some, ahem, educated guesses and it actually turned out pretty good. I also found my new favorite way to make garlic bread-French bread cut in half, spread with butter and sprinkled with garlic powder and shredded parmesan cheese. It's so much better than the stuff you buy from the frozen aisle.

And I'll leave you for now with this-a little gif of what happens when Jesse escapes from a bath. Have a good week y'all!

Travel, Travel, Travel

After our wedding we traveled...a lot. I think we traveled more than the hobbits in Lord of the Rings (yes, I just made that reference...Brendan's nerdiness must be rubbing off).

We started off by hiking straight up to Philadelphia after the reception. We spent the night there and then, sick as dogs, got on our first flight. We landed in Toronto about two hours later, waited two hours and then boarded a plane to Halifax. After two hours of waiting (and some dinner) in Halifix, we finally boarded a tiny plane to our final destination, Charlottetown, Prince Edward Island.
PEI is beautiful. I recommend going at least once in your life. Just bring a good GPS and a general sense of what you want to do. We stayed at Avonlea Cottages in Cavendish and I couldn't have asked for a better place to stay. It was quiet, the cabin was clean and well furnished and the free wifi was handy since neither of us had phone service in Canada.

Lemonade from Prince Edward
Island Preserve Company

Prince Edward is made up mostly of farm land which makes attractions few and far between. We only managed to get out twice because of how sick we were. We went first to Prince Edward Island Preserve Company's restaurant. They had some of the best lemonade and quesadillas I had ever tasted. The wait staff was very friendly and it had a gorgeous view of a lake and farmland from where we sat. Plus they had plenty of adorable tea cups as well in their shop.

Cavendish Cliffs

The second place we went were the Cavendish cliffs. They felt like something out of a Greene Gables book. The wind was cool, the water a clear blue, soft green grass on bare feet, and the red dirt so characteristic to Prince Edward. We spent probably a good hour there before heading back to Charlottetown to go home.

When we finally made it back to the states, we drove down from Philadelphia back to my parent's house. We opened the wedding gifts and talked with my family before falling into an exhausted sleep. The next day we planned to start for Texas early in the morning. We ended up not leaving until after noon because of waking up late and having to pack some extra things. It is at this point that I will give you a very valuable piece of advice that we learned the hard way from our road trip. When making a cross country trip, never, ever, ever, ever book your hotel ahead of time. We booked a hotel for that night in Chattanooga beforehand, planning to leave early and make Chattanooga by 10 or 11 at night. We didn't make it there until around 2 in the morning. We hadn't taken into account having to stop for gas and meals, making our travel time for that day around 14 hours.

The following day we made our start around 10 in the morning. We were to meet up with Brendan's family and one of his friends in Birmingham, Alabama, about 2 hours from where we had stopped the night before. We met at a Cheesecake Factory, still both sick, and had lunch with them before striking out on the road again, determined to make Louisiana before stopping. We made our goal and stopped about 6 hours from our destination of Houston, Texas. We stayed the night in a La Quinta hotel and managed to have a few hours to spend on dinner and a movie before going to sleep.

The next day, after 3 days of travelling, we finally made it to Houston and Brendan's apartment. So, with our adventures traveling all over the North America, let me give you some tips from things we learned the hard way:

• Don't take a long trip to Canada when you don't feel good. Stay home and rest up
• If you're travelling out of the country, make sure to contact your wireless provider and get service for the country you're travelling to
• Plan ahead for a road trip as far as road snacks and food stops go. Makes life a little easier
• Don't book a hotel ahead of time-when you're ready to stop, simply exit the freeway and check with hotels in the area to see if they have vacancies-most of the time, they do
• When taking a road trip, agree on driving shifts ahead of time. For example, switch off at every rest stop

So now we've settled in Texas and started everyday life as newlyweds (mostly, anyway; we're about to move to another apartment). And this Yankee is trying to get used to a new life in Texas.